How to become fed up and frustrated when you retire

Posted on July 27, 2010 by Susan Kersley

Some people love being retired yet others gets extremely fed up after some time has passed and they realise how much they miss the comradeship of work and the regular routine that they had when they had to go to work every day.

Here are some ways that you can become even more fed up and frustrated when you have retired from work.

Don’t plan what you going to do when you retire.

Some people believe that you will automatically know how to spend your day when you have to decide what to do yourself. However, the reality is that after a lifetime of a work place routine, you may find it’s quite difficult to decide what to do each day. Before you know it days, weeks, and finally years will pass and you will realise with horror that you have wasted a lot of time.

It although there is some argument about going winger spirit leads you, unless you plan the more likely it is that you will become more and more fed up.

Only have friends who were connected with your workplace.

Since your work have taken up a substantial amount of your time you may find that all of your social friends are people who have the same work as you and worked it for the same company as you did. that means that a large part of your friendship with that person is related to sharing what goes on at work. So when you leave you will find that with time you have less and less in common and this is a good formula for becoming more and more fed up when you retire and wanting to return to work.

During your working years, only work, never take time to learn anything different.

You can guarantee that you will become more and more fed up during retirement if you have never learned about anything in life except for things you had to learn in relation to your work.

You’ll find it much more difficult to be so fed up if you had outside interests that you can continue to pursue once you are retired.

Don’t have any hobbies.

Similarly, by spending all your time at work you will have perfected the art of not doing anything else except working, watching television, eating and sleeping. It’s possible that you never even took time for holidays. All of these add up to the perfect formula for being very fed up once you are retired.

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Retirement and time management

Posted on July 27, 2010 by Susan Kersley

When you retire from work and become an “retired person”, you may either wonder how you are going to fill your days, or on the other hand, find that there is so much to do that you hardly have enough time to do what you really planned to do during your retirement.

So what can you do to ensure that you don’t waste your time and yet have enough time to do plenty that all so are able to relax and reflect.

What have you always wanted to do?

During your retirement you have at last chance to fulfil the dreams you have had all your life. So make a list of them, a separate piece of paper for each one, and right underneath what you have to do in order to achieve those things.
What you have to learn? Where can you do that? When will you do it?

What is your legacy?

When you retire you begin to think about getting older and the inevitability  of dying. How do you want people to remember you? What would you leave behind when you are no longer here?
When you think about the answers to these questions you may realise what you have to do now during your retirement.

What you have to do to start?

If you know what you want to learn the important thing is to start doing it. Sometimes that is the most difficult step to take. You may have set yourself a step to large so ask yourself ‘what do I have to do before I can do that?’  keep asking that question until you decide on something that will only take you a few moments and I can do right now. It’s amazing how quickly you can move on to the next and the next step once you have taken that step forward.

What will keep you motivated?

Once you’ve made a start, you’ll find it moderately easy to keep going. However, some people find that after the first burst of enthusiasm that they lose the incentive to continue. Think about what will keep you motivated. Is there somebody who can keep you on track? It could be a phone call from a friend or relative who asks how you getting on, for example. Another way would be to find a buddy who wants to achieve something similar to you and who would be willing to support you if you support them.

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5 Keys to enjoying your retirement

Posted on July 19, 2010 by Susan Kersley

Retirement seems at first to be like an endless holiday and yet it isn’t.

After a while you may begin to miss the work routine even though you complained about it for years. You may especially miss the camaraderie of  workplace friendships and wish you were back there again.

What can you do to stop moaning and start to enjoy your retirement more fully?

1.Learn something new

It’s never too late to learn something new. Life –long learning keeps your brain active and is a way to  make new friends, acquire more skills and keeping your mind  and body active.  There must be some things you always regretted having to give up either willingly or unwillingly at some time of your life. Now you have the chance to pick up those threads again.

2. Make new friends

Of course you’ll miss work-place friendships and it’s great if you can keep in touch and meet them sometimes. However don’t be surprised if you find that what kept those friendships going was your shared experiences of work. You may find that after a while you don’t have much in common any more.

3. Look after your health

When you realise how many opportunities there are for you when you are retired then you must be as healthy as possible in order to enjoy these to the full. Resolve to exercise more, eat healthy food and generally look after your body, mind and spirit better than you have done for years.

4. Stop dwelling on the past.

You may be unhappy that you had to leave work because you reached a certain age rather than because you felt unable to continue to do the work.  It’s time to move on but there is nothing to stop you  using your skills  in a new business or either in a paid or volunteering capacity.

5. Have fun.

When you can laugh at what’s going on you will feel elated and enjoy life much more.  Stop taking upsets so seriously and see the funny side of life. As the well known saying goes: ‘laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone.’

What will be the outcome if you put these ideas into your  life in retirement?

It will mean that you will enjoy your retirement more fully and have a satisfying and interesting life after work. So instead of saying how much you miss work, get your new life in order and discover the easy ways to start to enjoy your retirement.

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5 ways to enjoy your retirement

Posted on July 4, 2010 by Susan Kersley

You may have been looking forward to retirement for years and yet as you approach the actual time to retire you may be wondering if you will actually enjoy not having to go to work any more.

You may have planned to do all sorts of things and yet feel frustrated at how little you manage to actually achieve.

Here are are five easy ways to enjoy being retired.

1. Write what you want to achieve:

By keeping a written record of whatever it is that you hoped to do during your retirement you will be able to tick these as you succeed. It’s easy to believe that nothing is being completed if you don’t actually record your successes.

By doing this you become clearer about what you can and can’t do during your retirement years (and you can usually do far more than you might have expected.)

2. Start  with small things:

Although it’s great to have big goals and a grand vision, for some people this becomes too daunting to actually make any progress towards it.

If you start with things which you can succeed easily then your confidence to aim much higher grows.

3. Don’t delay:

When you retire there is a strong temptation to do either nothing or to do  far too much during the transitional time between a busy job and becoming used to different routines. You have to find the balance that is right for you.

4. Keep going:

Develop a new routine for your new life to include a regular step or two each day towards those big goals. When you do this you will achieve what you hope for.  Be creative in how you approach problems and challenges and don’t give up if you don’t seem to be moving forward towards your goal.  This feeling of being stuck or making a mistake is commonplace. The important thing is not to give up but recognise it as part of the process of change.

5. Be open to new opportunities:

You will be amazed at how much you can learn and do and achieve when you no longer have the constraints of work. When you are open to possibilities you can discover new worlds you might never have even dreamed of before.  To keep you mind and body flexible be prepared for life long learning and be inspired by people who discover talents they thought they didn’t have or which were re-awakened after many dormant years  at work.

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Retirement coaching: 5 questions to ask yourself

Posted on June 20, 2010 by Susan Kersley

You may have been wondering if Life Coaching would  be useful  as you approach retirement, but you aren’t quite sure  whether or not it would be helpful or what it might offer you.  As a result of your doubts you haven’t further investigated the option of hiring a coach to enable you to cope better with the transition in your life into retirement.

You may have wondered if you could benefit from some coaching especially if you are the sort of person who likes to sort things out for themselves without involving someone who doesn’t  know you  and you would be unlikely to ever meet face to face.

Here are the five questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you know what you want?

Until you know what you want in your life after work then it will be impossible to achieve it!   Start by setting clear goals and the steps you need to take to get to them.

2. What will you be giving up?

Leaving work means giving up some good things some bad aspects of your life.  What changes when you leave work, make a list of what has to be left behind when you retire.

3. What can you do now?

Retirement opens new opportunities. What is possible now for you now that you longer have to  go to work any more?

4. What could others do for you now?

Retirement is also about letting go not only of things but also of tasks. There may be some things you’ve done for years but realise that now someone else could do that instead of you.

5. Are you ready to start?

However much you want to do something and however much you plan the steps involved the time commitment you must be willing and able to take the action required too. Sometimes that turns out to be the most difficult part of the whole process: actually doing it.

Ask yourself what is stopping you and listen to the answer.  It might be something to do with the where, the how the why,  the what, or the who,  of what you want to do and if you can’t sort this out yourself or with friends or family then a coach can help.

Answer these questions and do what you plan and you may not require anyone to coach you. However it either you don’t know the answers to any of these or you have been unable to actually take the actions you say you must take, then a coach will motivate and empower you to do so.

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Retirement balance

Posted on June 19, 2010 by Susan Kersley

When you reach the time to retire  it is important to look at your life as if from the outside and re-assess where you want it to take you from now onwards.

Your life involves others not just you so whatever you wish to do it may also  affect not only you but  your partner, your friends and family and your community too.

As to what you decide to do after you have let go of the work routine is to a large extent up to you. It may be related to a long forgotten hobby which you wish to take up again or you might want to pursue other interests which you had no time to take part in when you were busy at work.

You might also realise that as you get older your health and well-being becomes even more important and that this is the time to look at your lifestyle in relation to your state of health and wellness and deciding what you must do now to increase your chances of a healthy old age.

As always it is about balance. There has to be a balance between what you do only for yourself and what you do because of pressure from others.

If you can balance both of these demands on your time and energy so much the better for you. However if not be aware of your own internal reactions to doing those things you love to do against doing something because of an obligation. If the latter leaves you feeling drained or stressed then it is very important to confront this and make adjustments so that whatever you do generally gives you a feeling of excitement and anticipation.

Set yourself clear goals you wish to work towards. Visualise what your life will look like when you achieve these. Listen to the positive reactions of others when you succeed and notice how you feel when you know you are doing what you love to do.

Do the visualisation every day without fail. The best times are possibly just as you wake or as you fall asleep at night.  Get yourself prepared in this way to step into your new life!  Because when you do this regularly then your subconscious mind enables you to make the necessary adjustments to eventually be able to achieve what you really want to succeed in doing during your retirement years.

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Retirement and dealing with emotions

Posted on June 18, 2010 by Susan Kersley

When you are about to enter a new stage in your life such as retirement, you may be worried about how you will cope with the changes.  Everyone, including you,  needs and can benefit from  support especially at certain  times in your  life. These times of transition may be when you reach a ‘special birthday,’ getting married or divorced, coping with a death of a loved one,  and especially when you are retiring from a long term job or profession.
It’s a very common experience to go through a grieving reaction at these times, because they all involve in loss and change.

If you become aware of how much you will be ‘giving up’ when you retire and start to feel angry and the circumstances which led to having to or needing to retire, that is one of the common reactions which people feel at this time.

On the other hand you might feel guilty about what you are leaving for others to carry on with after you have left or some of the chaos you caused by not doing your work as efficiently as it could have been done.

Most of all you may feel very sad at leaving, what has been a very important part of your life  for very many years.

If any of these emotions resonate  then  it is  important to find the most suitable  person or group to support you at a  time of transition and change.  You must decide what exactly you want. When you know this you can seek the right person who can give that to you. It may be that you need informal or more formal support.

Perhaps you need practical help with physical tasks or someone to talk to about your emotional or spiritual needs. You decide. When you’ve decided you need to ask for what you want very specifically so the other person is able to respond to your request. It’s no good just saying ‘I want someone to help me.’ Because that other person may interpret helping you in a completely different way.

Support is best when whoever supports you helps  you make your own decisions rather than  imposing  theirs onto you.

Your ideal  support is  someone  you are able to talk to quite openly and not  feel judged by them.  They should  accept what you tell them  without criticism. In that way you can bounce ideas  and discover what you need to do yourself.

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Retire and keep on exercising!

Posted on June 14, 2010 by Susan Kersley

Retirement is a time to re-think your daily routine and find new and exciting opportunities of what to do when you no longer have to keep to the daily work routine.

Edward Stanley, Earl of Derby (1826-93), British statesman said
“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
His words are even more true today. If you spent a large part of your working day in front of a computer and your leisure time watching television then  your level of exercise may have been very inadequate. perhaps you knew this very well and from time to time  spent a few days joining a gym or playing a sport but got fed up or too tired to continue after a few weeks.

What will you do differently now that you have retired or are planning what to do during your retirement?
Exercise must be an important part of your new daily or weekly routine. It doesn’t have to be ‘over the top’ It just needs to be something you can fit into your new lifestyle easily. Choose some form of exercise you enjoy and can take part in without due stress.

Walking is one of the easiest ways achieve this. You can do it every day by going out of your front door. You don’t need any special equipment and can do it anywhere. You can do it on your own or with company. You might want to do more walking when before you would have driven your car, of if you go by bus walk to the next bus-stop. Always take the stairs instead of a lift and don’t begrudge any walking that is necessary during your day.

Of course if you can do this in the countryside, beside the sea or in a park there might be added benefits of getting away from polluted air in towns and cities.

As well as walking consider yoga  and swimming as other ways to  help your health and well-being  for a life after work.

Exercise is a vital  to do regularly because while not actually preventing any illness  it will keep you well for longer, your heart beating strongly, your joints more mobile and your body more flexible and more able to cope with what ever happens as you get older and so if you become ill your chance of a more speedy recovery is enhanced.

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Retirement: do the best for your life

Posted on May 26, 2010 by Susan Kersley

Retirement is a superb opportunity to develop new interests and make new friends. Here are you some ideas about how to make the transition from your working life to your life after work as smooth as possible.

When you’re no longer bound by the rigid structure of working life you can start to do things in a different way. You can be more relaxed and only do those things you really want to do.

A most  important message to take away from this article is that it’s vital to find time for interests other than work, or family and make time for your personal interests too because everyone, even you,  needs and should deliberately make time to relax and have fun.

Retirement is a time for making new friends as well as consolidating the friendships you have already. Bear in mind that you may lose contact with many of your workplace friends because your friendships may have been based on the camaraderie of the workplace rather than any ongoing connection or common interests.

You may want to spend more time with your partner which is excellent for your common interests.

However you need to have some space and time for you too and allow your partner time and space for his or her own interests which may not be of particular concern to you.

With or without your partner you may also want to explore:

1. Finding out about clubs and societies you could join so you will meet people with similar interests to yourself.

2. Renewing contact with old friends and relatives you have lost touch with.

3. Getting out in the fresh air each day on your own or with partner, friends or with a rambling group.

4. Signing on for courses to learn something entirely new, something you always wished you knew more about.

5. Taking the  chance to follow those dreams and find out where they take you.

6. Reviewing your health and well-being yourself by taking an objective view of your habits in relation to eating and exercising, smoking and drinking alcohol. You know what you have to do so start today and make a small change each week until you  know you are doing the best for yourself.

7. Visiting to your GP. There are screening tests available for those who are retired. Take advantage of them all so if you have something which is at a very early stage and causes no symptoms, you can have treatment if need be and so prevent a more serious disease developing in the future.

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Retirement: what to do and what not to do

Posted on May 26, 2010 by Susan Kersley

When the day finally arrives and you realise that you no longer have to go into work you may feel a sense of shock and  a  feeling of sadness for a part of your life which has passed.

However you have a new stage of life ahead of you and there are a lot of opportunities if only you are able to recognise them and take action on them.

Avoid the following:

  1. Being closed to doing things differently.

If you are  a creature of habit and if someone suggests there is another way to do something you react immediately by saying that the way you do it has served you well all your life and there is no way you are going to do something differently now.

  1. Letting your health deteriorate

You no longer have to go to work so your routine has changed so you sit around more than you used to and eat whatever you fancy all day long. Some of what you fancy is rather unhealthy too but you convince yourself that after all you have done you now deserve to treat yourself in this way.

  1. Being passive about what you do each day

You are certainly not going to commit yourself to anything and find it is easier to just go along with whatever someone else suggests, even if you don’t really fancy going there or doing that. It’s easier to just say yes and forget about making any personal choices.

Instead make sure that you:

  1. try new ways

Retirement brings you such wonderful chances to take up new hobbies or re-visit things you loved to do years ago. You may discover that because of new technology some of your routine could be done more quickly and efficiently when someone explains what to do.

  1. look after yourself

You may be only too aware of how having to work long hours meant that you neglected your own health and well-being. You now have the time and will discover new found energy when you take regular exercise and eat more healthily.

  1. make plans

When you are retired and busy discovering all the new things to get involved in, it is very useful to begin to plan your time well too. You will soon find out the truth in the adage ‘I don’t know how I ever had the time to work,’  unless you  plan, however loosely what you want to get  done each week or every month.

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